We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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