1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
