Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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