oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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