I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize