So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
