i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize