I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize