you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
