Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize