So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize