Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
