Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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