And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
