he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I smell like Dick and happiness
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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