Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
