After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
