I love black thongs
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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