Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
