Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize