thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
