I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
