Don't you send me to vm
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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