and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Can Purell be used as lube?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize