so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have post one night stand depression
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
