hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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