I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
All the doctor said was why
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
