My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
