It's Friday. Sex?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
