Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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