I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
