So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
