Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
