I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
