She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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