What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
