Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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