He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm at about main and main street
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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