Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
