My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
