Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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