Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
