literally had 100 drinks last night.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
