I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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