I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
