Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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