Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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