i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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