problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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