I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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