i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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