if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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