Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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