no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize