may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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