And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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