Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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