So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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