Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
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Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
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Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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