playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
