Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
