So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
