puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize