Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize