I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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