He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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