Whod you bang
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
