We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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